Older Women Teaching Younger Women – and it’s not what You Think

Titus 2, a passage in Scripture, has sparked conversations about women, discipleship, and influence for generations:

“Older women likewise are to teach what is good, and so train the young women…” (Titus 2:3-4.)

This is such a wholesome verse. When we zoom out and read it within the context of the whole book of Titus and within the whole counsel of Scripture, something beautiful emerges: not control, not rank, not superiority – but discipleship in community.

This passage is about cultivating a community of faithful women who walk closely with Jesus, who support one another and who model what a Godly life looks like.

Let’s take a closer look. My six big takeaways are:

1. Discipleship is the calling of every believer

2. Teaching flows from being teachable

3. Discipleship has no expiry date

4. Discipleship is deeply practical

5. Advice is invited – not enforced

6. True discipleship is found in community; not in superiority

A little bit of background: after Jesus’ resurrection and ascension into heaven, Christianity starts to spread into the nations. And many turn from their pagan gods and heathen ways to follow Jesus, and all over the known world, small Christ-following communities were formed, collectively called the church. The letter or book of the Bible, called Titus, is Paul writing to Titus, giving him instructions regarding the church that is being established in Crete, an island off the coast of Greece. As new believers, with no reference of Christianity, they needed to be taught how to live Godly lives. For me and many who have had the privilege of being raised in a Godly home, this is a very strange concept. Often, we err too much on the side of “just apply grace” because we may have experienced the Godly life as extremely legalistic. But for these Cretans, and even for many today, with no prior knowledge of what Godliness looks like, learning how to live a Godly life is of utmost importance. Because if one is not taught, it is easy to get swept up by many strange teachings. This is also what was happening in Crete and the same happens today, with many spending hours watching YouTube videos. It is sobering to realise that if we are not discipled in the ways of God, we will be discipled in other ways. The Cretans’ god of origin was Zeus. He was a god who lied and seduced women to get what he wanted. And this was the foundation of their culture. Christianity meant not only accepting Jesus as Saviour, but it also meant a radical turn from their way of life. Today, many so-called Christians simply slap Jesus onto their culture, “just applying grace” but 2 Timothy 3:5 speaks of having a form of godliness yet denying its power… meaning that the grace we receive is to enable us to live a radically different life! And so, what was expected of these Christian Cretans, is expected of us, Christian Afrikaners, Christian Africans, Christian South Africans (+add your culture).

And so, this book of the Bible is not only an historic account but it is a reflection of life today and we will do well to apply the principles to our lives.

1. Discipleship Is the Calling of Every Believer.

From the very beginning, Scripture tells us that God created both male and female in His image, and entrusted them, together, with the mandate to rule and steward the earth. The New Testament – Christianity – echoes this restored partnership, describing men and women as co-heirs in Christ, of equal value and both entrusted with the mandate to share the gospel and to go and make disciples.

Jesus said: “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations…” (Matthew 28:19–20)

We are not only to make converts but to make disciples! This gospel does not only change our eternal destiny; it changes the way we live!

Notice that this command was not gendered. It was given to the Church.

Discipleship is not reserved for pastors. It is not reserved for men. It is not reserved for the loudest voice in the room. It is the commission of every believer. Yes, including you. And me.

As a young pastor’s wife, many years ago, I was told that I do not have to disciple others because women are to be discipled by their husbands, and as wonderful as marriage is, according to Scripture, as we see in Titus 2, full discipleship is found in community.

Women are not spectators in this God Kingdom design. We are participants. There is one Team Jesus, and we’re a part of it!

And in many ways, women hold extraordinary influence. We shape homes. We disciple children. We encourage husbands. We cultivate Kingdom culture in work places, friendships and churches. The influence may not always be seen by everyone, but it is powerful. May our lives testify that we are disciples of Jesus and may we use our influence to make disciples of Jesus.

2. Teaching Flows From Being Teachable

One of the most misunderstood aspects of Titus 2 is the assumption that “older” equals “teacher.” It is often misquoted to impose a greater weightiness and higher rank to older women. But the true heart of this verse is to include all of community in the discipleship process: you are not too young or too old to count for Christ!

It is important to note that Scripture consistently defines maturity not by age, or the years of church attendance, but by fruit. So what this text is not saying is: any older women can teach & only older women can teach.

The older women mentioned in Titus, were being trained themselves – they were being taught to be respectful in behavior, self-controlled, faithful, Spirit-led… Titus 2 starts with “But as for you (Titus), teach (continuously) (the older men and women) what accords with sound doctrine.”

And so the key to teaching others, is that we remain teachable ourselves. We never graduate from the need of being discipled.

The Kingdom economy works differently than the world’s. In the world, advancement often means independence. In the Kingdom, advancement means deeper dependence. Spiritual authority does not come from how many birthdays we’ve celebrated. It comes from how surrendered we are. And yes, many years of a surrendered life, as our young peeps will say, she cooks for God, has a depth that cannot be hurriedly hustled, splashed on or microwaved. The beauty and boldness of an older women’s instruction is the evidence of an obedient, surrendered life lived well and long with utmost humility and teachability.

We are to be discipled in order to make disciples.

3. Discipleship Has No Expiry Date

The moment we are saved, discipleship begins. And it continues until we cross the finish line and enter eternity. You may transition roles. You may change seasons. You may lead differently as you age, but growth and giving never stops.

A woman who has walked through grief, forgiven deeply, asks to be forgiven when they’ve wronged someone, prayed through prodigal seasons, stayed faithful in obscurity… carries depth.

Not because she is flawless, but because she is faithful. Such beauty! The beauty of a heart whose trust is in God!

Older ladies, we need your steadfast belief to help us overcome the doubt and concerns that we face with where we are at. We need your clarity to help us keep the main thing the main thing. Your testimony is a refuge for others!

4. Discipleship Is Deeply Practical

The teaching in Titus centers on everyday faithfulness: Loving husbands, loving children, being self-controlled, being kind and being faithful with what we’ve been entrusted. Is incredibly practical. The gospel infiltrates all areas of our lives!

And discipleship does not only happen in teaching forums. These are great, because its an intentional discipleship space, but the fact is, discipleship happens way more while we live life together. It happens around kitchen tables, in homes, on school runs, during walks, over coffee, in text messages, dinners, shared laugher and tears, while serving together. It’s relational. It’s conversational. It’s honest. Sometimes the most profound teaching is simply watching someone’s authentic life as she apologises to her child, speaks respectfully about her husband, even when he is not there, respond well under pressure, take responsibility at work and refrain from blame shifting and gossip and trust God during uncertainty. This kind of modeling is powerful.

Proverbs 27:17 says: “Iron sharpens iron, and one person sharpens another.” Iron does not sharpen iron from across the room. There is friction. Contact. Proximity. I won’t lie: there is a very real cost to discipleship. We have to be willing to open our lives to receive from others and be willing to pour our lives out to others too.

Salvation is free, but purpose in God’s Kingdom is costly.

Discipleship is lived theology. Discipleship is about proximity. Discipleship costs.

5. Advice Is Invited – Not Enforced

This may be one of the most important clarifications: Titus 2 does not authorise control. There is a difference between instruction and domination. Between guidance and governance. Between wisdom and rigidity.

Experience is valuable – but it is not universal law. What worked in one family may not look the same in another. When we instruct, we need to be careful not to put our personal convictions on someone else as a command. Enforced instruction reveals more about the our need to control than our heart to care. And it will only produce confusion and/or dependence on us. Neither are great results.

Healthy discipleship sounds like:

• “Here is what the Lord taught me…”
• “This is how we navigated that season…”
• “May I share my story…”

It leaves room for the Holy Spirit to lead each woman uniquely. Spirit-led discipleship brings peace and freedom.

I love that Titus 2 is descriptive, not prescriptive: it points toward Godliness, but allows the outworking to reflect different personalities, situations and seasons. May our advice not be rooted in fear or myths or old wives’ tales… but may it be rooted in the gospel – to set free, bring truth and facilitate life in abundance!

6. Discipleship is Community Driven

Hebrews 10:24–25 reminds us to: “Consider how to stir up one another to love and good works… encouraging one another…”

That “one another” spans generations. Younger women need older women. Older women need younger women. Encouragement flows both ways. There is so much beauty in a multi-generational community!

True discipleship is found in community and less in the advice of a single mentor.

When women of different ages walk together in humility, considering each other as an image bearer of Christ, something powerful happens: comparison decreases, isolation and loneliness weakens, faith deepens. Instead of competition, there is collaboration. Instead of insecurity, there is inspiration. Younger women feel supported, not scrutinized. Older women feel valued, not sidelined. We are inspired – not inferior. Encouraged – not evaluated. Strengthened – not measured.

This is how the Church flourishes. This is God’s design. This is Kingdom life!

In your endeavour to grow, surround yourself with women who sit at the feet of Jesus. Because women who sit with Jesus carry peace into chaos, bring faith into fear, offer hope in heaviness, respond with gentleness instead of outrage. I have learnt so much from women whose first love is Jesus, young and old.

Life truly hits different when your inner circle prioritises Jesus. Because hearts synchronised around Christ brings light(ness). Delight!

A picture of this kind of mutual encouragement and beautiful friendship is found in the sweet film ‘The Intern’. In the story, Robert De Niro plays a 70-year-old widower called Ben, who becomes a senior intern at an online fashion company led by a young lady named Jules, played by Anne Hathaway. Ben finds meaning and purpose by assisting Jules and he admires her sharp leadership, and resilience. In turn, Jules comes to value the calm that Ben’s years of life experience bring.

Older women – your story and experience matters more than you know. The calm that you bring into a situation, is of immeasurable value.

Younger women – your passion and fresh take on life is powerful. Your energy and deep wonder of life and Jesus  is of immeasurable value.

Every woman – your surrendered life is Kingdom influence.

We do not walk alone.We journey together. We sharpen one another. We cheer one another on. And as we do, God gets glorified! This is holy partnership.

So, to conclude: here’s to women who disciple and are discipled; to the women who sit at the feet of Jesus; to the women who knit hearts together. Women who carry hope into every season.

This is the Great Commission being fulfilled.

Titus 2 is an invitation. An invitation to:

Stay teachable.

Stay faithful.

Stay connected.

Stay humble.

Stay courageous.